Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Willy’s Wonderland (2021)

23 Friday Jul 2021

Posted by in Binge this Movie, Horror Movies, Movie Reviews, Movies

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Even horror fans who aren’t satisfied with Nic Cage will enjoy this movie. No spoilers, but watch it to see what I mean.

Tagline: 2020 Isn’t Over Yet Kids! Fitting for those of us still surviving the pandemic. Willy’s Wonderland (2021) stars Nicolas Cage as a drifter named The Janitor who is tricked into cleaning a condemned arcade where a mass killing took place years before. It’s a horror movie making The New York Times “Five Horror Movies to Stream Now” article, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/25/movies/horror-movies-streaming.html. No spoilers here, but stream it!

It’s streaming on Hulu, which is glitching when you access. Instead of searching and linking, go directly into Hulu and find it listed as a newly added movie. The movie is a cross between Five Nights at Freddy’s and Chuck E. Cheese. In fact, on my handful of visits to the Chuck, I’ve imagined myself trapped much like the Janitor.

Phobias (2021) Delivers

08 Thursday Jul 2021

Posted by in Binge this Movie, Horror Movies, Movie Reviews, Movies

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Movie poster for Phobias (2021) and movie still of Macy Gray.

The New York Times’ article “Five Horror Movies to Stream Now” came at the perfect time. Okay, I didn’t actually read the article; I jotted down the titles and streaming services to get me through Tropical Storm Elsa. I figured the films would be palatable, if not great. I viewed Phobias (2021) first. Initially, I expected a knockoff B grade film, but I was quickly proven wrong. This horror film delivers.

You can take my word for it and stop reading now. Go stream it. Then read the reviews.

The film is divided into short vignettes that are linked by a deranged governmental doctor, who has imprisoned patients who exhibit extreme phobias in an effort to exploit their fears. Each vignette details how the patient came to the facility.

I enjoy opening and closing credits. I play a game trying to link names with prior roles. When Macy Gray’s name appeared, I was confused—was she the same R&B singer? (Answer: It is!) The opening credits also show each writer and director for each segment. This raised a flag. Many films attempting to bring together distinct stories often fail. But I continued watching.

This film is not a slasher film. The gore is minimal, which seems to be the largest complaint about the movie, but present. The film is rated R. The acting is consistent, the other complaint, but may come across as choppy due to each director’s vision—the main issue with these anthology attempts.

The final story stars Macy Gray. And boy does she shine. Phobias fills the void created by COVID binging. It is currently streaming on Hulu.

Suspiria (1977)

08 Saturday Dec 2018

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Suspiria (1977)

“Always, everywhere, some are believed by all.”

In 1977, Dario Argento’s Suspiria exploded onto the screens worldwide. The R-rated horror film was the first in his Three Mothers Trilogy. Co-written by Daria Nicolodi, the movie became an instant cult film classic. The 2018 remake is still in theaters; however, before seeing the latest, experience the original.

An American ballerina (Jessica Harper) enrolls in the Tanz dance academy in Germany unaware that a coven of witches operates the school during the day and communes with Helena Markos, the supreme deifier of God, at night.

According to urban legends, Nicolodi’s grandmother, Yvonne, inspired the film by retelling stories of her experience at an arts school where she claimed to experience black magic. Argento dismissed the story by stating inspiration sprung from the fantastical English collection of short stories Suspiria de Profundis (1845) written by Thomas De Quincey. Regardless, this film merges fantasy with horror.

The cast is an international ensemble, which causes the strange yet satisfying dialog. The actors spoke their native tongue, which was dubbed over in English in post-production. Carefully watch the exchange between Jessica Harper’s character “Suzy Bannion” and Udo Kier’s “Dr. Frank Mandel.” While it is obvious that Jessica is speaking English, it is unclear what language Udo is speaking. (Spoiler: It’s German. A crew member fed Udo his lines off-camera) It’s practically bewitching to watch.

Udo--Jessica

This would be iconic screen legend Joan Bennett’s (1910-1990) final full-length feature film appearance. She exudes sophistication and glamour as Madame Blanc, head of the Tanz academy.

The set design is equally captivating. Argento based the color scheme off Disney’s 1937 classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Each scene is purposefully and beautifully designed.

The creepy music performed by Goblin, an Italian progressive rock band, enhances the horror experience and can be called hypnotic. Over the years several well-known bands have covered Goblin’s music. Listen to the film’s soundtrack here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkZ2rdbDHM4. (Note: Do you hear Harry Potter when listening like I do?)

Goblin

The art-house horror movie appears on numerous Top Horror Film lists including #28 Cinema Blend, #18 Thrillist, #6 The Guardian, and #5 Mental Floss. It certainly is a top 5 on mine!

Suspiria is streaming for free with limited commercial breaks on Tubi.

The Nun (2018) Conjures Up Largest Opening Weekend for Franchise

10 Monday Sep 2018

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The Nun (2018) Conjures Up Largest Opening Weekend for Franchise

The Nun raked in $53.5 million over its opening weekend—far exceeding projections. Filmed on a shoestring budget of $22 million, The Nun is a financial success; however, it failed to excite critics and fans alike.

Friday night’s episode “Damaged” on The Dead Files was more believable than the latest offering in the Conjuring franchise. The movie opened with the all-to-cliché disclaimer: “Based on a true story.” Unfortunately, it isn’t. There are more effective ways to insinuate a true tale of horror. Instead, the producers decided to lie. Horror audiences aren’t that gullible.

The film follows Father Burke, played by Demián Bichir, the Catholic Church’s “Miracle Hunter” who has been assigned the uninitiated Sister Irene (played by Taissa Farmiga) as they travel to the isolated Carta Monastery in Romania to investigate the suicide of one of the cloistered nuns. The year is 1952.

Narrative and jump scares propel the film forward. The backstory is complicated as Father Burke and Sister Irene pick up Frenchie, played by Jonas Bloquet, who provides much needed comic relief. The story is slow in places; the jump scares predictable in others.

However, it’s important to stay until the end.

The 96-minute horror movie is rated R.

5 Things I Learned from The Nun

09 Sunday Sep 2018

Posted by in exorcisms, Movie Reviews, Movies, Uncategorized

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5 Things I Learned from The Nun

  1. Father Burke, played by Demián Bichir, is called a “Miracle Hunter,” not an exorcist. Watch the movie and decide if the correct title is used.

DemianBichir

  1. The Carta Monastery in Romania, the named location in the film, was built by Benedictine monks around 1202-1206. At no point in time did it transfer into the hands of a sadistic Count.
  2. The Corvin Castle, where the movie was filmed, may have a checkered past; however, that past is nothing compared to the story relayed in the film. The Romanian Minister of Culture owns the castle.

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  1. This addition to The Conjuring franchise focuses on the Catholic Church the most. That may explain the couple next to me who left. Using a religious relic from Christ may have been a bridge too far for some moviegoers.
  2. The movie opens claiming, incorrectly, that it is set in 1952 and based on a true story. Most Conjuring franchise fans know this is incorrect. However, there are still many moviegoers—and I mean a lot—who fall for this marketing ploy.

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Ghost Team (2016) Offers Up Campy Fun

02 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by in Ghost Hunters, Horror Movies, Movie Reviews, Movies, Uncategorized

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Ghost Team (2016) Offers Up Campy Fun

A man who is trapped in the monotonous cycle of adulting seeks to become the newest member of a fictional TV paranormal team. After assembling a team, they trespass onto a large, seemingly abandoned farm searching for evidence of paranormal activity. Sometimes we all need campy fun, and Ghost Team delivers.

Jon Heder stars as “Louis,” a man who realizes that his adult life is not the one he envisioned. He owns a single location copy shop. He chain smokes and dreams of being more, much more. He wants to be a paranormal star—like Jason Hawes and Steve Gonsalves (from the real TV show Ghost Hunters) who make cameos. One day property owner “Mitch” enters requesting 15 laminated “No Trespassing” signs for his “creepy” property that looks like it’s haunted. Louis assembles his team singing to “Dream Weaver” and hoping to hit the paranormal jackpot. Unfortunately, all they have is a crackpot, played by the wonderfully refreshing Amy Sedaris.

Admittedly, this is not a blockbuster film to the caliber of Poltergeist. It’s a low—seriously low—budget film that began streaming a month before its limited release opening. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that with all the emotionally draining news and mega-blockbuster film releases, it’s nice to clear the clutter in our brains by just watching an innocuous film. This is the film to watch.

Okay, so the reviews are weak; the Tomatometer is green. Go in with low expectations, and you will not be disappointed. The irony is that this film nails the boredom and tediousness that paranormal investigations entail. The movie may have received more “star” ratings had a paranormal investigator reviewed it because there are more laughs than reported.

Fair warning, though: IMDb.com places this movie’s genre as merely “Comedy.” Running 83 minutes and rated PG-13, Ghost Team is streaming on Netflix.

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What We Do in the Shadows (2014) is a Kiwi Delight

19 Monday Mar 2018

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What We Do in the Shadows (2014) is a Kiwi Delight

The BBC created a listing of the top 100 greatest comedies of all time. They polled 253 film critics from 52 countries compiling a comprehensive international list. What We Do in the Shadows came in at #62. Not too shabby for a low budget New Zealand production. This kiwi vampire mockumentary entertains and delights.

A film crew follows three vampires as they adjust to modern living with roommates, assign chores from the chore wheel, and navigate the singles scene in Wellington, New Zealand. Filmed for $1.6 million dollars, the film grossed over $6.9 million in the United States alone. The film is probably one of the most financially successful horror/comedy films Americans haven’t heard of. That is until now. Amazon Prime is streaming the film for free.

The three lead actors are large stars already. Taika Waititi, “Viago,” recently directed Thor: Ragnarok. Jemaine Clement, “Vladislav,” is the writer/actor responsible for Flight of the Conchords (TV series 2007-2009 and now a major motion picture opening in 2018). Jonny Brugh, “Deacon,” is a series regular on 800 Words, playing on US PBS stations, as “Monty.”

Walking

A mockumentary is “a motion picture or television program that takes the form of a serious documentary in order to satirize its subject.” Rob Reiner coined the term during press junkets for the film This Is Spinal Tap (1984), probably the most successful mockumentary film produced. Other examples are Best in Show (2000) and Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999). They are also called fake documentaries. Comedy is a key genre to a mockumentary films success.

Critics enjoyed the movie. Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 out of 4 stars. It has a 7.6/10 rating on IMDb and a 96% Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer score. Rolling Stone Magazine’s Peter Travers says it best: “But when the vamps hit the town to party with werewolves, zombies and the strangest creatures of all, you won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face. A good sign.” Actually, it’s a fantastic sign for the B-movie.

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Taiki and Jemaine secured $1.4 million dollars for a spin-off of this film. It will be a 6-episode 30-minute situation comedy (sitcom) tentatively titled Wellington Paranormal. It follows police detectives Mike Minogue and Karen O’Leary reprising their roles in What We Do in the Shadows as they investigate paranormal phenomena. The website Gizmodo calls it “like the X-Files­ but with zombies and werewolves.” Stay tuned for US access.

Netflix Delivers a Super Bowl Surprise: The Cloverfield Paradox

05 Monday Feb 2018

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Netflix Delivers a Super Bowl Surprise: The Cloverfield Paradox

Variety dropped the bomb less than 2 hours before Super Bowl LII’s kick-off. Netflix was releasing the highly anticipated The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) early. As in directly after the game ended early. What a nice surprise!

The Cloverfield franchise was named to confuse movie audiences. It was a spoof for the 1st installment simply titled Cloverfield (2008). The sequel, 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016), maintained the overall theme but took the narrative in a new direction. The 3rd installment, The Cloverfield Paradox, links the films and is set in the 2008 time frame.

Be warned: This is not an Aliens copycat. It remains true to the tone and tempo in earlier films—all the way up to the end.

The Cloverfield Paradox is currently streaming on Netflix. Its theatrical debut was scheduled for April 20th. Not currently rated, the movie runs 1 hour and 42 minutes.

Update: The movie is rated TV–MA.

Insidious 4: The Last Key Opens in US

07 Sunday Jan 2018

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Insidious 4: The Last Key

Chapter 4 in the popular Insidious franchise opened a month earlier than expected this past weekend. Still, there was plenty of time for movie critics to review and to thoroughly trash the film. Filmed on a meager $10 million-dollar budget (considering the entire franchise has brought in over $378 million), the film takes parapsychologist Dr. Elise Rainier back to her former home to investigate strange phenomena. The film is expected to pull in $26 million in the US and land in 2nd place behind Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. From the reviews I’ve read, I’ll wait for the film to stream.

The first Insidious (2010) made $97 million worldwide. This was a huge margin of profit considering the estimated budget was a paltry $1.5 million. The initial film was the strongest and best; however, Chapters 2 and 3 grossed more. The production company rubber-stamped a Chapter 4 and seems fine with the lackluster film. [Note: The films should be viewed in their story order which is 3, 4, 1, and 2.]

Insidious

The Guardian gave Chapter 4 2 stars. Jordan Hoffman likens Elise’s sidekicks Specs (played by screenwriter Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (played by Angus Sampson) to the Scooby-Doo gang with their Mystery Machine van. Hoffman bluntly states that the film “squanders its opportunities to get interesting.”

Although NPR’s Scott Tobias enjoyed the interplay between Lin Shaye’s Elise with Specs and Tucker, he tired when the film enters the predictable “The Further.”

RogerEbert.Com’s Simon Abrams warns viewers to bring a friend. He writes that the films really are improving but some viewers may miss the subtlety. He writes: “This one is almost good.”

Insidious: The Last Key’s release date was moved up in anticipation for February’s highly anticipated Winchester starring Helen Mirren as the haunted heiress to the Winchester gun fortune and the Irish film The Lodgers which has garnered solid reviews. If you’re a monthly moviegoer, see all three; however, if you must select one, choose The Lodgers.