Dear Pilgrim Studios, Hire Me!

Word traveled lightning fast when news leaked that Amy Bruni and Adam Berry were leaving Ghost Hunters. Damage control worked overtime with Amy expressing thanks to fans and provided vague clues about their future broadcasting endeavors. Rest assured; both she and Adam are developing a new paranormal show. That’s welcomed news! More—and better—shows are needed. However, if the 2013 season is any indication about quality and production value, I won’t hold my breath.

Last week another Ghost Hunter announced his departure. Britt Griffith also decided to exit, but his future plans are unknown. I’m sure Britt will land on his feet and be okay. He’s talented and educated. Desirable paranormal resume attributes. Not to diminish the departures of Adam and Britt, but Amy will definitely be missed. She brought 20 years’ experience and a sense of adventure to the show. Plus she’s the only strong female lead investigator in Prime Time.

Pilgrim Studios published a casting call to any paranormal-investigator TV wannabes. Apply now! Heck, I did. Sadly I am not what Pilgrim is looking for.

1. I’m female. Of the top 10 paranormal shows currently in production, only two (2) have female investigators. Not one has a strong female lead. [Note: Psychic mediums don’t count because they are the show. Even if they did, only Amy Allan works with a team.]

2. I’m not defenseless. I don’t scream, squeal, or faint. I do, however, say “Oh my stars.” And I have been testing out “Hell’s Bells.” Not sure either would catch on with viewers. Plus, I find that freaking out only freaks out the clients. Bad PR by the way.

3. I’m not a 20-something string bean tart. Nor do I have any tattoos. My co-founder at Archer Paranormal Investigations has enough for both of us. My size 2 days ended when I married.

4. I’m grounded in my beliefs and a practicing Episcopalian. I’m awestruck that God and religion don’t make it into the reality TV scripts. Without God, there would be no devil, or demons for that matter. Clergy are often an afterthought. Shameful! By the way, more religious people believe than non-religious. Catholics and Black Protestants believe more than any other religion.

5. I’m highly opinionated. I’m a lawyer. I have lots of opinions and enjoy sharing them. I’m naturally curious. I’m incredibly nosey. I seek answers, and I do my research. [Note: See blog “Just the Facts, Please!” for discussion.] I care about our clients and want to help them. Isn’t that why we’re there in the first place?

Now that I’ve talked Pilgrim Studios from auditioning me, maybe they will consider my argument. Please cast a strong seasoned female investigator. It’s not Ghost Hunting 101. Female investigators add a much desired component to Ghost Hunters. Plus, demographics and statistics support the decision. More women than men (64% compared to 50%) believe in ghosts. Seventy-three percent (73%) of Americans believe in some aspect of the paranormal. That’s 3 in 4 Americans. Women are the majority. Women are the primary household consumer.

If Pilgrim Studios is reading: I’m still interested in auditioning. Can I bring along Jenn and 2L?